(NSFW) The Tales of Infinite Mischief Ep. 1

      There was a thunderous crash as a drop pod tore through the roof of a manufactorum and came to a screeching halt on the seventy third floor. The guardsmen Jax and Wolfe Arkana, Tybalt Arl the Psyker from a Feral World, and
Garvel Ramirez the Assassin were shaken out a drug induced sleep by the impact

of the drop pod slamming into the ferrocrete floor. Jax Arkana cleared his

throat "Mates, It looks like we've been Shanghai'd."

Wolfe coughed roughly before agreeing "Too right, brother." Two doors of the drop pod hissed open and Jax and Wolfe stumbled out. As they looked over, Tybalt and Garvel fell out of the pod next to them, clearly unused to the roughness of a combat drop.

The room that the drop pod had wedged itself in had only one door, covered by a sheet

that loosely hung in the frame. On the floors were more sheets that were clearly

in use as beds, with rocks being used as a form of pillow. Whoever lived here

was very poor.

"Where the sod are we? and Who the Sod are you two?" Garvel demanded.

"Jax" Jax answered, followed by Wolfe, "And Wolfe Arkana, III Vatarian Legion. Who the hell are you?"

Tybalt scoffed. "Tybalt Arl, Blade for hire. This is Garvel Ramirez." The

Psyker simply nodded at them.

"Well Tybalt." Jax said, "There are men trapped in this drop pod. It's wedged

into ferrocrete."

Garvel spoke up "There is combat going on nearby. I suggest if we are to help

them we make haste."

The group stood and listened. Sounds of Autoguns and Lasguns trading fire

echoed into the room. The occasional battle cannon would explode followed by

smaller sub explosions.

"There is only one thing we can do." Jax said as he surveyed the drop pod. "We have to put them out of their misery. Anyone have any grenades?" No one spoke up.

"Alright, lets see if we can rig it to explode then." He knelt at the pod's control console and began to pry into it with his knife. There was a bright flash as he was jolted back by electricty.

"Well" Garvel said after a short while "Looks like they're stuck in there."

"Looks like it" Jax agreed as he stood up and brushed himself off. He then leanred against the doorway and peeked outside.

They were in a room that connected to a catwalk. Far below there stood massive couldrons of bubbling magma. Just visible were figures that appeared to be in intense combat.

"Catwalk looks clear. Lets head out." He tore the sheet down that covered the doorway and put it on as a makeshift cloak, then proceeded to pull part of it up as a hood.

"What's that for?" Wolfe asked.

"Just in case. If anything happens we could use it as a tournicate, or paint it up as makeshift camoflauge. " Jax replied as he stepped onto the catwalk followed by the rest of the group.

To their left and right the catwalk continued onward.

"Which way?" Tybalt wondered aloud

"Let's let the Emperor decide." Jax replied and pulled a single throne from his belt and tossed it in the air.

It landed heads-up. "We go right."

As they proceeded down the catwalk, five men dressed in rags approached them carrying battle-axes. The two groups stood and stared at each other before one of the men shouted out "Blood for the blood god!"

"Wait wait wait wait wait!" Jax shouted, and the cultists stopped for a moment. "We're with you guys! Been up here hunting for those damn imperials! Blood for the blood god!"

The cultists talked among themselves for a moment before replying "Kill them! Skulls for the skull throne!"

"Well shit." Garvel stated, and raised his lascarbine to shoot at the oncoming attackers. He clipped one in the arm and made him flinch some. Tybalt opened fire with his snub pistol but the shot went wide. Jax fired his autogun at the oncoming attackers and a miracle happened. One of the rounds detonated a grenade that was on the belt of one of the cultists. Four out of the five cultists were flayed into a red, gorey mess. The remainind cultist continued to charge forward, completely ignoring the fact that his comrades had fallen. Garvel fired at him again but the shot went wide, then proceeded to taunt the cultist mercilessly.

"Were you born this slow, or are you just that out of shape?"

The cultists growled a response and continued to charge him.

Tybalt was silent for a moment before lowering his trousers. He then began to flop his junk around while shouting "Helicopter!"

(After a brief game derailment regarding whether or not we are allowed to helicopter the cultists, it was concluded that it would take a full turn to do.)

The cultist skid to a halt and covered his eyes. Jax took the oppurtinity to stab his bayonette through through the jaw and up through the skull of the cultist. After using his boot to scrape the cultists off the bayonette, he chuckled.

Garvel joined in the chuckling. "Tybalt fucked with his mind, You literally mind fucked him."

"Fitting death for a cultist." Wolfe added.

After continuing down the catwalk, the group came upon a staircase.

"Well gents'" Garvel began "It looks like we've quite a long walk down ahead of us."

Unbeknownst to the group, they were on the seventy sixth floor. They walked down seventy five flights of stairs to the bottom floor. Once at the bottom Jax, Garvel, and Tybalt all collapsed in a series of pants and gasps. "Fuck. Fuck. That was something awful." Wolfe could only throw up as he gasped for air.

"Never" Jax began to catch his breathe "Again."

As the group was still catching its breathe, a low rumbling filled the chamber and everything seemed to shake slightly.

"Oh no" Wolfe muttered

"No, no, no, no." Jax agreed

"What?" Garvel asked

As if one cue a Leman Russ Battle Tank rounded the corner and began firing battle cannon shells at them. Missing several which resulted in a few of the magma couldrons being cracked open.

"Just can't get a break, can we?" Jax shouted as they began to run back up the flights of stairs. Suddenly, a lascannon tore into the side of the leman russ and caused it to explode. The explosion fully knocked over one of the magma cauldrons, spilling its contents over all over the ground and melting the lower levels of the stairs.

"Well. That went well." Garvel stated.

"Mhmm." Tybalt agreed.

"You know, I used to work in these factory dregs as a lad. Every twelve floors is an access door to a freight elevator." Wolfe remebered.

"Yeah, thats right. We can get to a freight elevator and hitch a ride to the surface." Jax Agreed.

So they climbed up to the twelfth floor and began following the catwalk again.

"Wait!" Tybalt cried, startling the rest of the group. "There are people ahead!"

Jax raised his Autogun and crept along the catwalk. "Do you sense they are hostile?"

Tybalt was silent for a moment. "No, They seem... afraid."

As Jax, Wolfe, Garvel, And Tybalt crept up on the cowering dregs.

"Don't hurt us! By the Emperor, Don't hurt us!" One of them cried

"Relax" Jax said, and gave them some rations. "What planet are we on?"

The dreg looked confused. "We're on Vatar.. where else would we be?"

"Good. Still at home. What hive?" Jax asked

"Edgeer Hive" The dreg responded hesitantly

"What happened here" Garvel asked one of the dregs.

The dreg took a deep breathe before speaking. "We started the work day this morning just like every other day. About mid day as the lunch bell rang, half of the workers pulled rifles and weapons out and began gunning everyone down at random. It... it was awful! Everyone was screaming... a-and running! I saw my family killed by a mutant with a makeshift axe!" The dreg began sobbing uncontrollably.

"What happened to the XI Legion? They should be here restoring order." Jax asked

"They.. They were killed by dark figures with faces pale as ash, with ears as pointed as knives. They're dead, every single one is dead!" The dreg cried. "I can never forget what hell i've seen today!"

Jax Knelt down close to the dreg. "Do you require the Emperor's Benediction?"

"Oh please! I need the Emperor's help!" The dreg sobbed

"Kneel down in prayer. All of you."

The three dregs knelt down and began praying. Jax put an autogun round into each of their heads. He then knelt down and removed a pair of welding goggles with an Aquila stamped on the side. "Might come in handy. Lets get a move on."

As they continued to walk along the catwalk, it bent into a partially destroyed alcove and then out the other side. As Jax stepped into the alcove, A shot rang out and clipped him in the cheek. He fell back bleeding severely on the face, cursing all the while.

To Be Continued...